Disobey Average: Turned Adversity into a Superpower

In a world obsessed with external markers of success — the size of your bank account, the prestige of your job title, the aesthetic of your social media feed — it is easy to lose sight of what actually moves the needle on fulfillment. We often look for clarity before we execute, yet the most successful people in the world know that clarity is a byproduct of action, not a prerequisite for it.

Ben Kjar was born with Crouzon Syndrome, a condition that brought significant medical challenges and intense social bullying. Yet he didn't just survive; he thrived, becoming an NCAA Division I All-American wrestler, a successful real estate entrepreneur, and an international speaker. His message: the ultimate flex in life isn't riches. It's inner peace through genuine confidence.

Ben's defining moment happened at a grocery store when he was a boy. After saving up his money for a Twix bar, an adult in line pointed at his face and told his children to stay away because Ben was “probably contagious.” That level of verbal annihilation from an adult would break most people. Ben went home, retreated to a bathroom, and tried to figure out how to “take his face off” just to be normal.

It was his mother who stepped in, stood him in front of the mirror, and delivered the truth that would shape his entire life:

Ben, you are different because you are born to make a difference. Everyone begs for attention; you're going to get it whether you like it or not. When that attention comes, do not fit in. You were born to stand out.

When Ben looked for a way to express this new identity, he chose wrestling. In team sports, you can hide behind a helmet. In wrestling, there is nowhere to hide. It is one-on-one, raw, and demanding. More importantly, wrestling offered something Ben craved: control. He couldn't control his medical condition, but he could control his effort.

If the coach asked for ten pushups, Ben did twenty. He made a decision to disobey average at every turn. Confidence is earned in the dark, long before you ever step onto the mat.

Through years of competing at the world-class level and building businesses, Ben developed a specific strategy he calls 3XSC. This isn't just about sports; it's a blueprint for anyone looking to level up their business or personal life.

• Call Your Shot. State your goal clearly and publicly. Ben wrote “3XSC” on his Letterman's jacket as a sophomore — a feat that had never been done at his school. By calling his shot, he created a standard he had to live up to every day.
• Enlist Shot Callers. You cannot reach the pinnacle alone. Shot Callers are mentors and friends who get in the trenches with you and hold you accountable when you play small. They say “Let's go” instead of just “Go.”
• Set a Shot Clock. A goal without a deadline is just a dream. Whether it's buying a marathon ticket months in advance or setting a hard launch date, the Shot Clock creates the necessary pressure to ensure execution happens regardless of how you feel.

For Ben, “Disobey Average” isn't a catchy slogan; it's a lifestyle. Many high-impact entrepreneurs excel in their careers but settle for an average life everywhere else — in their health, their faith, their relationships.

Our average standard of living — our default way of living — is often our children's highest potential, because that's what they see.

True success isn't about the absence of obstacles; it's about the refusal to let them dictate your identity. The very things we often view as liabilities — our struggles, our differences, our failures — are actually the leverage points that allow us to stand out in a world that settles for good enough. Set the date, buy the ticket, and remember: you weren't born to be Version 2.0 of someone else. You were born to be you, at full volume.