Listen to the Episode Here (16:23)
August 10
Why do we do what we do?
…The 6 Core Human Needs from Tony Robbins
Have you ever wondered why we do the things we do? Of course our thoughts and emotions shape our behaviors and results in life, but what truly influences our conscious and unconscious thoughts on a day to day basis?
I’ve put a lot of thought into this and we have discussed many different influencing factors that contribute to our lives, and we have even talked about ways to influence and change our behaviors and results. But today I’d like to talk to you about identifying what is truly affecting your life on a deeper level.
6 Core Human Needs by Tony Robbins
Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who studied and documented human needs and behavior. He developed a well know theory of basic human behavior called Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The most basic of needs (which influence our behavior) are food, shelter, safety, etc. Then there are higher levels of needs like love, self-esteem, and personal growth in order to truly achieve “self actualization” and happiness in life. These are the main influencing factors in our behavior; as a result, they are the influencing factors in the results we achieve in life.
Tony Robbins further developed this concept into what he calls the 6 core human needs. He has become well know for this training because it has literally impacted thousands of people (throughout the world) during his career. He believes that all humans have the same 6 core needs and that if they are fulfilling these 6 needs they will experience the most happiness. If not, they will feel dissatisfied with their life and also feel unfulfilled at times. He added that most of us will prioritize a couple of these needs and (as a result) those needs will drive most of our conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions.
So you can see that if these needs are driving our behaviors and actions, then they will ultimately determine our results, our happiness, and even our levels of fulfillment.
Many people choose to meet their 6 core needs in a positive way, but it is also possible (and common) that people can meet these needs in a negative (destructive) way that leads them to problems and struggles in their lives. Meeting our needs in a negative way never brings long term happiness and ultimately can cause serious pain, frustration, and even depression.
Are you aware of the Core Needs you prioritize in your life?
Are they being met in a positive or a negative way?
I’d like to outline the 6 core needs so that you might become more aware of which ones you are prioritizing and which ones you need to continue to focus on fulfilling at a higher level. Also, I feel it’s important to truly understand if you are currently filling your needs in a positive or negative way. This will help you to understand what drives your thoughts, behaviors and actions that are creating your life.
So, let’s start to go through these needs and feel free to take some notes and really dig into what you feel are your Main Influencing Factors in your Success or Lack of Success in your life right now.
No it’s interesting to note that the first four needs are ones that fulfill the needs of our Personality, and the last two needs are ones that fulfill the needs of our spirit. True fulfillment comes from the last two needs, so really pay attention to those as we go through them.
Here are the 6 core needs:
Needs of the Personality
1-Certainty- the need for safety, stability, security, comfort, order, predictability, control, and consistency…Avoid Pain…
Obviously, we do our best to avoid pain in our lives by creating certainty. However, a problem can arise for many of us when we create unrealistic expectations of what it take for certainty. This can cause stress because we never seem to meet our needs for certainty.
This is when you need to start discovering what limiting beliefs and programming that you carry inside that is affecting your expectations and needs.
On the other hand, if we have too much Certainty we get bored, so this is why we need the second need.
2-Variety (uncertainty)- the need for variety, surprise, challenges, excitement, difference, chaos, adventure, change, and novelty.
My partner and mentor Robert Stuberg would say that your true success as an Entrepreneur (and happiness in life) in in direct proportion to the amount of Uncertainty that you can handle in your life. I believe this is because we already know that success, growth and “uncertainty” lies outside your comfort zone.
It is also interesting to note that these first two core needs work as a paradox and continually try to balance each other. Certainty vs Uncertainty. Which leads us to the 3rd Core Human Need.
3-Significance- the need to have meaning, special, pride, needed, wanted, sense of importance and worthy of love…we want to feel special.
I read a very impactful quote from Adam Sincinski that I think explains the need for significance really well…
“You can feel more significant by achieving something, by building something, by learning something or even by tearing other people down. They are all legitimate ways to fulfill the need for significance. The need for significance can help you achieve more, do more, and become the person you desire to be. All professional athletes would probably admit that the need for significance is a big part of their careers. In fact, it’s probably one of the most important influential factors that go into every decision they make. On the other hand, the need for significance can be used for evil purposes. For instance, it can be used to hurt people or gain an unfair advantage. Take for example a bully. A bully bullies other people to feel important, significant, and worthy. Therefore the need for significance can actually lead to violence.” – An In-Depth Exploration Of The Six Human Needs Shaping Your Life, Adam Sicinski
Tony Robbins talks about how VIOLENCE can also fulfill the need people have for significance in a destructive way. Understanding the need for significance is very important so that we can better understand how to deal with this need in a positive and productive way in society and in our personal lives.
4-Love & Connection- the need for communication, approval and attachment, connection with, loved and intimate with another person.
Ultimately we are all searching for connection. Love is one of the most powerful emotions and can bring with it both “true happiness” as well as our “deepest fear” due to rejection, loneliness and regret. The key is to understand that love can be influenced by our beliefs in a big way. Low self-worth, past relationship failures and good or bad business experiences can all affect our ways of fulfilling this need for love and connection.
A great example of this is why many of us settle for “Connection” rather than “Deep Commitment and Relationships” with others. We dont want to get hurt in a relationship but we still need to fill our need for Love and Connection. The problem with his is that we never truly fill this need long term by only satisfying it at a surface level. The same can be said in business if we are untrusting or unwilling to risk moving forward with our goals due to past failures.
Needs of the Spirit
5-Growth- the need for constant emotional, intellectual and spiritual development.
You’ve hard the saying, “if you are not growing, you are dying”. This comes from the fact that we all have a need to Grow. The best way to do this is through personal development. Without personal growth, you can feel “stuck in life”.
The negative side of Growth is that many of us apply filters of perfectionism so we don’t recognize that we are growing because we are either 1)comparing ourselves to everyone else or 2) we set the bar so high we will never meet this need. The KEY is to always play the game of life against the past version of yourself and not others. And, to always remember that you need to look forward and not back when you are growing.
6-Contribution- the need to give beyond ourselves, give, care, protect and serve others.
Another great saying is, “The Secret to Living is Giving”. The meet will ultimately only get filled when you feel you are impacting and contributing to those around you: in community, in your family, in your relationships, in your business.
I really like what my partner Robert Stuberg says when he talks about his life mission and use of Unique Talents. The key to life is identifying your Unique Talent (excellent and passion about) and applying it in the service to others. This is an Amazing way to Create Success while living a Happy and Fulfilled live, but it also satisfies this need at an extremely high level.
So…How are you meeting your 6 Core Human Needs?
We strive daily to meet these needs, but remember that our needs can ultimately be met in both constructive and destructive ways…positive and negative ways that will influence and affect our lives.
I believe that most all stress, anxiety, depression, and dysfunctional behavior comes from not filling these needs or filing these needs in a negative way. The key is to understand yourself and your limiting beliefs that are affecting these core needs. Find out how your inner beliefs are creating the filter you use to fill these needs on a daily basis. In other words, how are your daily routines being influenced in a positive or negative way because of the programming you’ve adopted throughout your life.
So, I Encourage You to Ask Yourself these Key Questions:
-What are my Top Core Needs?
-How am I filling those needs now? (positive or negative)
-What are the beliefs that are driving my needs?
-Are these beliefs serving me and my life’s mission?
-How are these needs impacting my relationships, business and communication?
-How can I redefine the parameters needed to meet these needs.
Let me give you an example of how Tony Robbins talks about using these 6 core human needs to redefine or increase the quality of your relationships…
Tony Robins says
“If you’re in a relationship with somebody and you meet one of their needs, you’re going to have an acquaintance.
If you meet two of their needs, you’re going to have a friend.
If you meet three of their needs, you’re going to have a deep friendship or love.
If you meet four of their needs, it’s going to be a deep love.
If you meet five or six of their needs, you’re going to have a love slave. … They ain’t going anywhere.
But it’s got to be you meeting their needs, not the other way around.” – Tony Robbins On How To Master Relationships, J.D. Meier
You get the point. Ultimately, you can seriously impact the quality of “your life” and “others lives” if you will be INTENTIONAL with how you meet the 6 Core Human Needs of Yourself and Others.
I know that if you will take the time to “unpack” what is driving your life, then you will be far more effective in creating change, and you will completely transform your life and business. But its gonna take a little work. You must be willing to sit down and go through the motions to understand, identify, redefine and execute on your Core Needs in your life. If you do this…I promise you will see massive changes in your life.
I appreciate you listening today. I hope you’ve found some value in this information. If you have, I encourage you to share this podcast episode with at least one person in your life. Have an amazing day.
George Wright III
