Welcome back to this 5 Day series on How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. We are covering a high-level review of the Amazing Principles and Strategies taught in this book and I want to remind you to pick up a copy and dive into all the stories and case studies he gives in this All-Time Best seller.
There are four major parts of this book, and we are on Part 3 today on How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking. As a reminder the 4 sections are:
- Techniques for Handling People (3)
- Ways to make people like you (6)
- Winning People over to your way of Thinking (12)
- Becoming a Leader. (9)
Part 3- Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- no one ever wins an argument
- learn to take a minute, process the facts, and change your perspective
- telling someone they are wrong only causes negative feelings
- even when they are wrong you can gain more ground being indirect
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re Wrong.”
- when you take accountability and responsibility people trust you more
- don’t wait to admit wrong…be quick and decisive about it
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- people are more open and receptive
- even if upset, we gain more ground with sincerity and friendliness
- Begin in a friendly way.
- start with questions you know that answer to
- sales techniques get people in yes, yes buying patterns
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- people like to talk and listen carefully to clues
- ask questions that lead rather than talking to lead
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- people are more committed to their own ideas
- with proper questions you can lead people to your conclusion
- let the other person feel that the idea is theirs.
- see first to understand…covey…then to be understood
- adopt a sympathetic grasp of their viewpoint
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- people desire sympathy and sincere listening to their perspective
- feel felt found technique
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- people want to do things for what “they believe” are good reasons
- people are usually acting and are driven by motives they desire
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- stating facts isn’t enough
- story telling is key and useful
- Dramatize your ideas…we are in the AGE of DRAMA… 🙂
- “everyone loves a good challenge”
- “everyone has something to prove…to others and themselves.”
- Throw down a challenge.
The biggest key I have learned from this section (part 3) of the book is that many times in my life I have worked too hard to “SELL” people into my way of thinking or my vision. Selling and negotiating and Persuasion are amazing skills to develop. BUT…it is far more effective and last much longer to Persuade People to your Thinking and Vision by LEADING them there with Sincerity and Genuine Concern for their wants and desires.
Ultimately, we all want healthy relationships and I’ve learned over time that conflict, being matter of fact (even if right) is not a recipe for lasting relationships. Dale Carnegie does an excellent job of reminding us exactly what we can do to create a Winning, Persuasive and Productive Strategy for Getting what you want in life
If you are Sincerely trying to Create and Live your best life, then these are principles you will live by. Tomorrow we are going to talk specifically about Part 4 of the book. This section covers How to Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. But more importantly, it sets you up for creating massive loyalty and Productivity from people you work with in business and in life.
Thanks for tuning in today for our review of Dale Carnegies book. I look forward to your feedback, thoughts and our continued discussion tomorrow. See you then.
George Wright III
